Sunday, April 22, 2012

And now it's time...

All good things must come to an end and we’re getting to the part of the Jizzmopper Chronicles where I graduate from Minnesota State University, Mankato, quit the porn store and move to Phoenix. The parent company of the store didn’t have the need for a full-time marketing and communications employee (despite the fact that they were pleased with the ads I had created for the store) and I was getting sick of retail, so I quit.

The events that have taken place in this blog so far actually took place between 1998 and 2001, but are written as current because I think they’re more interesting this way. Besides, everyone loves nostalgia. Just look at!

Phase II of the Jizzmopper Chronicles will cover the second time I worked at a porn store. This time it was at a mini-mall, couple-friendly, suburbia-appropriate store that had fall less cum on the floor, but just as much creepiness. 

I was no longer a bored college student. I was working a second job during evenings and weekends to save up money for my upcoming wedding.

In some ways, this store was even stranger than the "whack-shack." In a more comfortable setting, customers are much more likely to ask for your help. This is cool for the most-part, but they’re also much more likely to start telling you intimate details about their health and sex-life that you’d rather not know about.

One woman spent an hour on the phone telling me about how her first husband raped her, and then came into the store to tell the whole story again in person. Old men loved to tell me about their inability to achieve erection without one of our elaborate devices or expensive, placebo sex pills. Underage teenagers tried to come in the store all the time and those that were 18 often attempted to pay with a relative’s credit card. (Anyone in retail has probably noticed the disturbing trend of adult children paying with parent's credit cards. But it's one thing when this happens at the grocery store, it's quite another when it's to buy a vibrating butt-plug.)

Anyway, since things are moving forward, I wanted to invite readers to send in any more questions or comments about the Mankato store before I start posting about the new store. I can always comment on either store, but I want to make sure I collect your thoughts before you forget about any burning queries concerning video booths, jizzmopping or meth pipes.

Thanks again for taking the time to read my sick, little blog!

1 comment:

  1. Why are kids under 18 buying vibrating butt plugs? Can't say I knew they existed at that age!